How frustrating? I did not sleep much yesterday with all the "you know what" tots. So when I came home, I am dead-beat. Went to bed at 10pm, with Seth being such a darling when I said I wanna sleep in the other room by myself, he actually said bye to me and followed his daddy back to the master-bedroom. I manage to drift off quite quickly. However, woke up at 2 plus, disturbed by the bad tummyaches! I think to myself "WHAT AGAIN!!" SICK AGAIN!" Then went to the toilet to do the biz, and somewhat rest is being disturbed. Thereafter, went to the scraproom and surf online. Lately, have been having this annoying hearing issue on my left ear. Keep hearing my own heartbeat thumping thumping and kinda irritating. After the block nose block ear, this happened. Hope it goes away soon. 10 more weeks, 10 more weeks to go. I am really not intolerable of the pregnancy process but guess it's towards the job I am doing. I just can't wait to get out and go on to have my maternity leave. Sorry to be so selfish but I feel I need to break away from all this to rest my mind and re-focus. About Seth, and now that he turned 2 years old, he starts to display "toddlehood" which can be quite trying to us in terms of our patience. Just this evening, we got home, he was playing with his cars which are housed in the toolbox Olive Tree got for him. He takes everything out, then throw them back in and poured them out onto the coffee table (which is glass top) making loads of noise. repetitively, will you get annoyed!? So as usual, got reprimanded and sorry that I am a threatening mom, I sternly told him to stop otherwise the toys will be confiscated. *shake head* and thank God, he did stop. I do give thanks as well for a disciplinary figure (my bro, Jon) whom Seth's afraid of. Whenever Seth is up to some mischief and Jon is around to spot his mischief, immediately, Seth would be so tamed and not try anything funny. I should say that Seth is not a difficult child to handle and is more gentle compared to the peers I've seen. I would genuinely praise him for the good he does and he's really happy about it. About RuiEn, Now that she's 30 weeks, she kinda have limited movement in my womb. I must say she's having loads of activities in my womb and some of them really startled me as I never experience the same when I am carrying Seth. The feeling is a mixture of happiness and apprehension as I am not sure how come she can kick so hard, or have such constant shudders in my womb. See, mommy me worry that I may have sat in a position which is uncomfortable for her. Thinking to myself, I have not been fervently praying for the pregnancy and for RuiEn's growth in me which I feel I've neglected her. Of course, I know God's love and protection stretches out to RuiEn and the family but I need to also confess and come into agreement in prayers for the good things and grace God has given us. I feel ashamed. =( I know it's silly to be so but all I want is to have a smoother pregnancy and have the supernatural childbirth of RuiEn who is healthy and pretty. I do have great concern of the pregnancy period that I am in, I am not so cheerful and worry too much. So somehow, it affects RuiEn's development. I don't know how to shake away the bad thoughts but only through prayers which calms me down. I will tell myself, Jesus's love all the little children and he'll provide the best for them. So much more for RuiEn. With the comforting prayers, I will be at peace. I should tell myself not to let the devil steal the good thoughts and be rooted to God's words which doeth much more for us.